How I Ended Up At A Recovery Meeting On HOT DOG NIGHT — And Why Sobriety is A Team Effort
The turd in the glass of wine thing was working for me…..
Really, well as a matter of fact. (see link below for THAT story!)
For the first time in forever, I was sober without the white knuckling. I remembered some words from a wise, sober person I heard about how you have to replace the drink with something soothing. Instead of a glass of wine at the end of the day, I now took long, hot showers, put on fresh pajamas and drank a cup of my favorite decaf tea. I was doing lots of laundry but that was OK. I read TONS of literature about recovery. I prayed.
There was A LOT of praying.
Around week two or three, I noticed a big change in my attention. Everything seemed more visible to me. Colors seemed brighter. People seemed more “there” when I was speaking to them. I noticed that I was listening better during conversations.
Still, sleep was a pretty significant problem.
Getting to sleep without a drink was a challenge, but, again, God gave me an answer.
“Replace an unhealthy addiction with one that is less dangerous.”
I had been obsessed with reading since I learned how at age three. Books had been my refuge, my escape, my teachers and my friends.
I changed from drinking and watching bad TV before sleep, to going to bed at 8PM in my snuggly pajamas, clean from my shower and reading a good book. I discovered the local library book sale, where you could “fill a bag” for $5. I bought bags and bags of novels and memoirs. Stories became my drug of choice for nighttime. No theology, no Bible, no church history, no self help. Those were my daytime choices- what I needed to read for school and to get better.
I read my “stories” until I could not keep my eyes open any longer. Sometimes that was 11PM. Sometimes it was midnight. Sometimes it was 2AM, but I did it. I fell asleep without a drink night after night after night.
So I was sober and glad to be sober.
But I was incredibly lonely.
I did not know anyone else in my life who struggled with addiction to alcohol…..at least nobody…