Christine Schrade-Keddy
3 min readNov 30, 2020

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An Ignatian Silent Retreat- What Happens? Day Three/Part Two

Tuesday- Day 2 Captain’s Log…..Stardate 11/17/2020

Today’s theme is sin.

I know, great opening line right?????

Everyone close your browser. Nobody wants to read this.

But stick with me, those of you that are brave and curious…….

In the Retreat House library yesterday afternoon I was perusing a book on the 8 Day Ignatian Retreat. It said that on Day 2, often times, the dark sins and thoughts you have been trying to escape will come forward. This is because you are slowing down and becoming closer to God. When you are all speeded up and running away from God, the Evil One does not bother messing with you, because you are not a threat all speeded up and running away from God.

I have actually believed that for a long time, but had not thought about it in a great while.

So, naturally, the Reason I Came Here came to the forefront .

And it was not pretty.

Addiction.

Yuck.

I know- once an addict always an addict.

Not my addiction to alcohol or other substances. Thankfully , I continue to be sober from that one day at a time.

No, the addiction that was brought up to me last night and today is my first addiction. The one that is the most deep seated. The one from which all the other addictions spring.

Approval.

Love. Acceptance .

My baby wound.

I am convinced it comes from my being adopted and given up by my biological Mother.

I have some pretty serious abandonment issues.

This is not news to me.

I have been working on them for a long time.

What WAS new to me was how my approval addiction is tied in to my social media addiction .

Ouch.

What is different to me this time around is the Ignatian approach to sin. My understanding (and I am new at this Ignatian thing so I am paraphrasing ) is that we are to acknowledge our sin, shine a light on it, bring it out of the darkness, and promise God that we will work on changing…

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Christine Schrade-Keddy

“Not THAT kind of Baptist “ Minister/ Spiritual Memoir/ Sheologian/No Longer Living on a Boat/ Recovery/she-her/missistine.com/@revkeddy on Instagram